Broken Chains #5: My struggle with Isolation.

My struggle with Isolation.

I grew up in an amazing family with two loving parents, two biological siblings and at least two other members of our extended family at a given time. One would assume that I have always had people around. I am also a pastor’s kid which in my opinion comes with unsought attention. I had a considerably good number of friends both in school and church, but despite all those people around me, there were times I felt completely alone. Continue reading “Broken Chains #5: My struggle with Isolation.”

Broken Chains #4: Seeking forgiveness

Seeking forgiveness.

Before I came to Christ, I was very selfish. I just wanted to be loved and because of this, I expected people to act exactly the way I wanted them to. As I looked to serve myself for many years, I hurt a lot of people. When I came to accept Christ as my Lord and Savior, I knew that I had sinned against many people. But I assumed that I had forgiven them and they also had forgiven me. I was stubborn and wanted to learn to forgive in my own ways, not the ways of God. Continue reading “Broken Chains #4: Seeking forgiveness”

Broken Chains #3: Washed Away

My baptism experience, the day my insecurities were washed away.

The day had come, the day where I as an adult said to myself “I am choosing to follow Jesus and only Him”. No more foot in and foot out. No more just a Christ follower by mouth. The day that I choose to lay it all down.

One by one I watched my fellow brethren in Christ step into the water and be made instantly clean. My heart heavy, my knees weak and my body shaking, I asked myself ‘Am I worthy?’ Continue reading “Broken Chains #3: Washed Away”

Broken Chains #2: Freedom from self-hate

Freedom from self-hate.

When I was in my late teens I really struggled with the concept of “self-love.” I actually hated myself. I internalised a lot of negative comments made about my physical appearance and personality growing up and accepted it to be true

I would beat myself up about the smallest of things and always criticize myself after having conversations with people. There was a period of time I would research self-love because I was desperately trying to find out how I could possibly achieve it. I’ve found that the only way is through a relationship with Jesus!

God sent His only Son to die for my sins, forgave me of my sins, and reconciled me to Him and I am now His beloved child. I am so worthy to God of this, and when He sees me, He sees the person He created me to be. He doesn’t see my mistakes or failures of the past but He sees me as holy and blameless through the blood of Christ. I am His precious daughter. I am not the things that people have said/may say about me and the fact that I have been rejected time after time by a parent and still am, it no longer has a hold on me because I know that I am adopted by my Heavenly Father, accepted in Christ and loved dearly.

In Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near by the blood of Christ…. His purpose was to create in himself one new humanity out of the two, thus making peace, and in one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross…. You are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household. (Ephesians 2:13-19)

There have been many times after being saved that I have battled with condemnation, shame of sin that I have committed before and after being saved but one thing that really has had a profound impact in my journey is knowing that I am righteous in God’s eyes. After I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Saviour and repented, I received the Holy Spirit. The Spirit of Jesus dwells in me and so when God sees me He sees His son. I don’t have to do anything to gain God’s approval.

As Paul writes:

There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. (Romans 8:1)

For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. 15 For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together. (Romans 8:14-17)

There is absolutely nothing that can separate me from the love of Christ. God’s love for me overwhelms me and silences the lies of the enemy. Constantly renewing my mind with God’s word and receiving His love and peace has honestly had a great impact in my walk with God and being free to love myself. I can only love myself because my Father loves me unconditionally.

For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39).

About the Writer:

Ambar is a recent law graduate living in London who is passionate in her pursuit of Christ. She loves to express her worship to God through singing, and is an advocate for natural hair care and beauty.

Social Media Profiles:

Twitter: @_ambaralex


Please feel free to get in touch with Ambar if her testimony has impacted you!

Broken Chains #1: Bound by Image

Bound by Image

(Watch the spoken word piece “Bound” here)

Vanity of vanities, all is vanity. (Ecclesiastes 1:2)

(photos captured 05/2013-04/2017)

I have had natural hair since I was born. Yes. Completely natural; never permed, never texturized, never relaxed.

I hated it.

Not only was it brittle and hard to manage, but everyone around me, including my big sister, had silky sleek permed hair. I felt odd and misplaced. “Why can’t I just be like everyone else” I thought to myself constantly. This blanket of insecurity I was suffocating underneath drove me to cover my hair up.

I got my first weave at the age of 9.

From then on my mum did my hair for me, up until the age of 14 when I decided that I needed more elaborate and fashionable hairstyles to keep up with the latest trends. That summer, I taught myself how to do my own hair. I experimented with extensions and weaves and became skilled enough to replicate any hairstyle I desired. Continue reading “Broken Chains #1: Bound by Image”